Overcoming a depressing mood can be challenging, but there are various strategies and coping mechanisms that may help improve your mood. It's important to note that if you're experiencing persistent or severe depressive symptoms, it's advisable to seek professional help from a mental health professional. Here are some general tips that may help lift your mood:
Reach Out for Support:
Share your feelings with someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Talking about your emotions can provide comfort and understanding.
Engage in Physical Activity:
Exercise has been shown to have positive effects on mood. Even a short walk, jog, or a workout session can release endorphins, which are known as "feel-good" hormones.
Get Sunlight Exposure:
Sunlight can have a positive impact on mood and help regulate sleep patterns. Spend time outdoors during daylight hours, or open curtains and blinds to let natural light into your living space.
Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques:
Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness can help calm the mind and reduce stress. Apps and online resources can guide you through these practices.
Establish a Routine:
Create a daily routine that includes activities you enjoy and that give you a sense of purpose. Structure and routine can provide stability and a sense of accomplishment.
Set Realistic Goals:
Break down tasks into smaller, more manageable goals. Achieving small goals can boost your confidence and contribute to an improved mood.
Limit Social Media and Screen Time:
Excessive use of social media or screen time may contribute to negative feelings. Take breaks and focus on real-life interactions to foster meaningful connections.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself and recognize that it's okay to have ups and downs. Avoid self-critical thoughts and practice self-compassion.
Engage in Activities You Enjoy:
Participate in activities that bring you joy and satisfaction. Whether it's a hobby, reading, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones, doing things you enjoy can improve your mood.
Prioritize Sleep:
Ensure you are getting enough quality sleep. Establish a consistent sleep routine, create a comfortable sleep environment, and avoid stimulants before bedtime.
Consider Professional Help:
If your depressive mood persists or worsens, seeking professional help from a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist is important. They can provide support, guidance, and potentially recommend therapeutic interventions or medications.
Connect with Nature:
Spending time in nature has been associated with improved mood and well-being. Take a walk in a park, go hiking, or simply enjoy the outdoors.
Remember that everyone's experience is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's essential to find strategies that resonate with you and to be patient with yourself as you work through challenging emotions. If you're unsure about where to start, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for personalized guidance.
The
control test is a simple but incredibly effective strategy I use
whenever I start worrying about something. It can be applied not just to
the news cycle but absolutely everything in life, from not getting a
pay raise to facing death.
The formula, or
test, is found in Handbook, or Enchiridion, a book of lectures by the
Roman stoic Epictetus. Epictetus – whose handbook was published in 125AD
– wrote:
Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion and, in a
word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body,
our property, reputation, office and, in a word, whatever is not of our
own doing.
Essentially, our realm of control consists of our own actions and reactions, our desires, our character and how we treat others.
The
rest – including our bodies, the actions of others, our reputations and
our fortunes (personal and financial) – are out of our control.
Although in my book,I debate whether desire really is in
our control (I mean, c’mon – what about hormones?), the control test is
remarkably effective at assessing what we should and shouldn’t expect
to be able to control in life. This knowledge is liberating.
Want someone you’re crushing on to fall in love with you? Out of your control.
Want that job? You can apply – but ultimately selection is out of your hands.
Fallen hard for an apartment? You can bid for it – but others might want it too.
Got
diagnosed with cancer? You can try everything in your power to get
better – but you can’t necessarily control the spread of a disease, even
with the best medical care.
I
use the control test every day to make an assessment of what I should
worry about, and consequently where I can best direct my energy. If I
read distressing news of war or conflict, I ask whether it’s in my field
of control to stop or influence the conflict. The answer has always
been no.
Protest and other forms of speaking
up may influence outcomes – but ultimately, they do not directly control
the outcome. According to stoicism – energy should be put into areas
where we have direct control. Otherwise, we suffer unnecessarily.
Rational thinking
The stoics believed that one thing that separated humans from animals was our ability to think rationally.
Part
of thinking rationally is acting on good information and contemplating
the situation fully, rather than consuming or acting on misinformation
or dodgy sources.
So, if you do decide to read
the news, or follow conflicts happening around the world, a stoic would
only get information from strong sources, rationally assess it, and not
rush to judgment without being fully informed.
Violence
that has taken place as a result of misinformation or faulty
information has always been a scourge (just ask the philosophers like
Socrates who were put to death by mobs), but this has intensified in
recent times with the proliferation of disinformation on the internet.
It is within your control to seek out high-quality information and act rationally.
Don’t get infected by the fear or outrage of others
Be careful not to be excited into a panic or a gloom spiral by the emotions of others, say the stoics.
Counseled
Epictetus: “Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t
sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive
attitudes through your associations with others.”
The
stoics were aware that mobs could whip up fury and high emotion and
that the target of a frenzied group had little chance of using reason to
change hearts and minds. They advised to stay away from them – and make
up your own mind on matters, untainted by the high emotions of others.
Seneca
said that to “consort with the crowd is harmful; there is no person who
does not make some vice attractive to us, or stamp it upon us, or taint
us unconsciously therewith. Certainly, the greater the mob with which
we mingle, the greater the danger.”
Instead, a
stoic would advise to be guided by the four virtues (courage,
temperance, justice and wisdom) and your own rational thinking.
Be relaxed
The Greeks had a word for the state of mind we need to cultivate to remain calm: ataraxia.
Ataraxia
is a state where you are free from distress and worry. Ancient
philosophers believed achieving ataraxia created an emotional
homeostasis, where the effect wouldn’t just be a more stable base-level
mood, but one that would hopefully flow out to the people around you.
If you are more tranquil, you will be less likely to react or combust if something doesn’t go your way.
Imagine
that your flight is delayed because of bad weather. You could react and
take out your anger and frustration on the airline staff (who have no
power to change the weather) or you could accept that the situation is
out of your control – and remain calm and chilled.
With
ataraxia, not only do you not ruin your own day, you avoid ruining
other people’s too. In a tranquil state you may even make better
decisions.
Ideally, someone in a state of
ataraxia is not gripped by high emotions – such as lust, envy or fear.
Rather, they have used the control test to understand what they can
control, and what they can’t.
Aim to be peaceful in your own life and with others
You
may not have control over conflicts in a distant land (or your own) –
but you can be peaceful with all those you encounter – even the people
who annoy you.
Marcus
Aurelius, the Roman emperor and stoic philosopher, had this problem. He
wrote in his diary as a reminder: “When you wake up in the morning,
tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling,
ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this
because they can’t tell good from evil.”
But
he reminded himself of the humanity of even people who annoyed or
frustrated him: “We were born to work together like feet, hands and
eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each
other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him:
these are unnatural.”
That is, you can accept
other people are annoying or horrible. At the same time, you can accept
they are human, just like you are, and will contain good along with the
bad.
You cannot control these people, only
your reaction to them. In this reaction, you can be peaceful and
compassionate, or – if they are really annoying you – you can remove
yourself from the situation.
The worst thing
for a stoic was to react angrily to people who annoy you. That only
escalates the situation and causes conflict that it’s hard to back down
from.
Don’t act from a place of anxiety or fear
The
stoics also accepted that life was full of change: just when you are
comfortable with one set of circumstances, life gives you another twist.
If you are relaxed and expect change, then you can deal with it better.
Marcus
Aurelius coped in troubled times by not allowing his thoughts to be
overrun by negativity. “The universe is change; our life is what our
thoughts make of it,” he wrote in his diary.
Use
the control test to calm anxiety. If you can’t do anything about it –
if it is out of your control – then is it worth worrying about?
“There
is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things
which are beyond our power or our will,” wrote Epictetus.
Buddha gave many thousands of teachings, but the root of all the great realizations of the Buddhist path to enlightenment are the meditations on love, compassion and the supreme good heart of bodhichitta - a mind that spontaneously wishes to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all living beings. Training our mind in these meditations will give us great confidence that is based on our wish and capacity to benefit others. In How to Transform Your Life, available as a free eBook download, Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso says:
‘... the more we cherish others and act to benefit them, the greater our self-respect and confidence will become. The Bodhisattva vow, for example, in which the Bodhisattva promises to overcome all faults and limitations, attain all good qualities and work until all living beings are liberated from the sufferings of samsara, is an expression of tremendous self-confidence, far beyond that of any self-centred being.’
The first step in achieving this goal is to reduce our desire for our own happiness, which is our self-cherishing, and to replace this with a mind that wishes others to be happy. As Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso explains:
'If we sincerely practise every day stopping wishing for ourself to be happy all the time and instead wishing for others to be happy all the time, then we will understand from our own experience that through this practice, which prevents attachment to the fulfilment of our own wishes, we will have no experience of problems or unhappiness at all. Thus, if we really want pure and everlasting happiness and freedom from misery, we must learn to control our mind, principally our desire.'
If in our daily life we put effort into developing and improving our mind that cherishes others, eventually we will become a great being, a Bodhisattva, and our beneficial influence will extend well beyond the limitations of the present level of our imagination.
Here are 10 things you can do to build up your self-confidence.
An extract from entrepreneur.com
1. Visualize yourself as you want to be.
“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” -- Napoleon Hill
Visualization is the technique of seeing an image of yourself that you are proud of, in your own mind. When we struggle with low self-confidence, we have a poor perception of ourselves that is often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, achieving your goals.
2. Affirm yourself.
"Affirmations are a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs about yourself." -- Nikki Carnevale
We tend to behave in accordance with our own self-image. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you view yourself.
Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly. For example, if you hate your own physical appearance, practice saying something that you appreciate or like about yourself when you next look in the mirror.
To get your brain to accept your positive statements more quickly, phrase your affirmations as questions such as, “Why am I so good at making deals?” instead of “I am so good at making deals.” Our brains are biologically wired to seek answers to questions, without analyzing whether the question is valid or not.
3. Do one thing that scares you every day.
“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” --T. Harv Eker
The best way to overcome fear is to face it head-on. By doing something that scares you every day and gaining confidence from every experience, you will see your self-confidence soar. So get out of your comfort zone and face your fears!
4. Question your inner critic.
“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -- Louise L. Hay
Some of the harshest comments that we get come from ourselves, via the "voice of the inner critic." If you struggle with low self-confidence, there is a possibility that your inner critic has become overactive and inaccurate.Strategies such as cognitive behavioral therapy help you to question your inner critic, and look for evidence to support or deny the things that your inner critic is saying to you. For example, if you think that you are a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I am a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I am a failure?”
Find opportunities to congratulate, compliment and reward yourself, even for the smallest successes. As Mark Twain said, “[A] man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
5. Take the 100 days of rejection challenge.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Jia Jiang has become famous for recording his experience of “busting fear” by purposefully making crazy requests of people in order to be rejected over 100 days. His purpose was to desensitize himself to rejection, after he became more upset than he expected over rejection from a potential investor. Busting fear isn’t easy to do, but if you want to have fun while building up your self-confidence, this is a powerful way to do it.
6. Set yourself up to win.
“To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” -- Denis Waitley
Too many people are discouraged about their abilities because they set themselves goals that are too difficult to achieve. Start by setting yourself small goals that you can win easily.
Once you have built a stream of successes that make you feel good about yourself, you can then move on to harder goals. Make sure that you also keep a list of all your achievements, both large and small, to remind yourself of the times that you have done well.
Instead of focusing only on “to-do" lists, I like to spend time reflecting on “did-it" lists. Reflecting on the major milestones, projects and goals you’ve achieved is a great way to reinforce confidence in your skills.
7. Help someone else.
Helping someone else often enables us to forget about ourselves and to feel grateful for what we have. It also feels good when you are able to make a difference for someone else.
Instead of focusing on your own weaknesses, volunteer to mentor, assist or teach another, and you'll see your self-confidence grow automatically in the process.
8. Care for yourself.
“Self-care is never a selfish act -- it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.” -- Parker Palmer
Self-confidence depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health and social health. It is hard to feel good about yourself if you hate your physique or constantly have low energy.
Make time to cultivate great exercise, eating and sleep habits. In addition, dress the way you want to feel. You have heard the saying that “clothes make the man.” Build your self-confidence by making the effort to look after your own needs.
9. Create personal boundaries.
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made avictim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”-- Harvey Fierstein
Learn to say no. Teach others to respect your personal boundaries. If necessary, take classes on how to be more assertive and learn to ask for what you want. The more control and say that you have over your own life, the greater will be your self-confidence.
10. Shift to an equality mentality.
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” -- Marilyn Monroe
People with low self-confidence see others as better or more deserving than themselves. Instead of carrying this perception, see yourself as being equal to everyone. They are no better or more deserving than you. Make a mental shift to an equality mentality and you will automatically see an improvement in your self-confidence.
